quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (The Magnificent)
Ganesh Chaturti - Log

- Emotionally, I've been very meh. Meh about things I like, meh about my RP, meh meh meh. It's a bad state and I don't like it.

- I've been listening to some old Hindi music soundtracks that I loved back in the day. I don't know much of the new stuff, though I should check anything A.R. Rahman puts out. He was my favourite composer. I mean, I love Ramta Jogi.

- I am tempted to do some writeups on shows I'm watching. Like a female appreciate post per week on the characters in Vampire Diaries, or maybe a Community FST. Hell, I want to churn out fics again. Go go being involved in fandoms again!

- WHY IS MY HOUSE SO QUIET AUGH. Though I love how my maid and I sort of chill, me on the comp and her in my folk's room watching Tagalog movies.

- Also man I use my tumblr ALL THE TIME. I don't know how this happened! Also, other people seem to find me and follow me! ... I don't know how that happened either?

- As a person, I have noticed I go back and forth on being empathic and patient to being a jerk! Or it could be my paranoia at work (it seems to be rearing its head lately). I might poke people and ask "IF I AM BEING UNCOOL PLZ SAY SO". 

- How does one get better at communication anyway? I feel out of sorts on that front.

quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (riding on dreams from whence I came)
- I'm starting to loathe my weekends with their ridiculously long classes and exams. Luckily I only have three more modules to go. Still, it wears me down because weekends is when everything happens and I'm just not around for them anymore.

- Beat the Elite Four and slowly powering my way through the gyms. I'm still kinda upset over a trade I did which wasn't the most sensible one, but eh. I'll live. I miss my Tyranitaur a lot though :( Also my Charizard is stronger than my Feraligatr. W-Win.

- I think, probably after Loveless Weekend, I'm gonna not play Dean for a while ( I WILL LAST TEN SECONDS INTO THIS BUT ). I need to take a break from him. I feel I'm getting to the point that everything I say is starting to sound like drivel and it frustrates me.

- A friend of mine is here for a few days! We watched Being Human and talked a bit. We both agreed Mitchell in the pilot was hotter. :)

- My kids graduate next week. I am of many minds about this.

- Must get back into writing full swing.

- Business Law this week. At this rate, I'll be so multi-educated, I won't even remember what I've been educated about.

- I have an mp3 player again! God I missed having one.

- And because I didn't do this and I missed a lot of love memes: Comment here and let me love you.

quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (Pity-fest)
- blah the depression blues blahhh.

- god, you know what I wanted to do for ages and haven't gotten around to? Going to a cafe and chilling. Just that.

- Sending writing to places! The NewYorker site is a bitch, guys. A bitch.

- Tokage finished! and ahhh, it was so well done and perfect and why don't more people love this series I do not know.

- I'm trying to make icons again. This comp is weird so I have to get used to it.

- I can hear my free time slipping away.

- How is everyone? I've been ridiculously bad at communication lately. TELL ME SOMETHING NEW.

- Bio-Resonance says I have cancer cells. But Bio-Resonance also makes me hold things and somehow measure my energy levels. I don't know anymore.

- When did I become such a schmuck.

quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (knights and angels)
- Zoo field trip! Both hectic and fun. Nearly lost a kid. Nearly died then and there. But the animals were great! The polar bears really put on a show and we saw lemur babies and tons of animals literally just a hair's breadth away.

- Came back. Wrote an email, cried a lot and then promptly passed out on my bed. For three hours! Zoo is tiring business.

- Only two more days of school. My parents don't want me going to school anymore. I have my schedule for Murdoch. Today, a kid invited me to his bowling party. I didn't have the heart to tell him that I might not make it.

- Writing has moved to bursts and three separate projects. Fight, fight, fight!

- I might do a self-evaluation. Or an anon meme. I need to recheck how I perceive myself and how people perceive me. But right now, I'm just worn out.

- Need to make pimp posts at CFUD, do my Cubia app, do Cubia icons, start posting at my DR.

- Ferrari is acting reclusive. I guess it's because he's finding it weird to be the only turtle in the tank. Maybe I should go buy another one, but the thought just hurts.

- I have a post with thoughts I need to type out. I feel now more than ever, I need to be clear and truthful with myself and with other people.
quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (If you loved money as much as me)
  • Finally did my first entry on [community profile] freud! ... And I still feel jittery, but it's good to have stuff in one place now. Debating on whether I want to shift my Kirk [microcosm] essays too.
  • Finally started doing things with [community profile] fst as well. ... Why do I mod things sob.
  • I should also do a state of the union meme for CFUD characters.
  • Play again at [community profile] pandoras now that I've recovered.
  • Decide on my counselor early so that I don't dwell.
  • Decide on a camper too.
  • App Aang at [community profile] pandoras 
  • Sorted out my pesky feelings! Realized that I am a douche with people! But you know, realization is a good step.
  • Do a few character FSTs
  • Make more icons. Finish Haruka's set.
  • Finally call that computer guy to fix my comp.
  • Send in application forms.
  • Debate on getting a tumblr
quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (at least that's what I THINK)
- Inksome might be going down! Which means most of my RP related woes entries will be going along with it. So I'm debating starting a comm just to fill with RP thoughts and essays because I've played a lot of characters (and I can say that for sure) and so many essays tend to be scattered all over my journals. Might as well make a comm and start it in one place.

- I don't understand when talking to people became a struggle, but it has. I'm getting more and more moody and irritable towards... well, er, entitlement, I suppose is the best word for it (thank you [personal profile] unbelievable ). At this rate, I'm going to spend time talking to the sane people on this internet side and ignoring the rest. I've always prided myself on being fair, but I'm not gonna do that at the expense of my piece of mind. Just, no.

- I've been marathoning Avatar and it's very good just to watch and hang back. I wish the fandom for it wasn't so intense. (no seriously, spn? star trek? no problem. but avatar fans? when talking about a cartoon show? terrifying).

- I'm even thinking about apping Aang in [community profile] pandoras if only so I can finally have a communicative person in my lineup (don't get me wrong. Sherlock is super-communicative! But does the man care? not one whit)

- For a while I thought I lost my Dean mojo. I'm so glad I'm wrong.

- I wish I was less logical about dealing with problems. At least that way, I can fake sympathy and go there there. But ultimately, that's not gonna help anyone! ... So asking that of me is just ridiculous.

- Need to get writing, pronto.

- God, I'll miss my icon slots in Inksome. That is my only regret. Oh well, time to periodically recycle icons at DW  instead...

quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (I defeated the god of death)
I realized that the words dose/thosa will never stop being weird to be because no one in India actually calls them that.

It's dosa. sob. It ranks up there with things that bug me irrationally.

The other one being chai tea. (chai is hindi for tea, so sticking those two words together sounds like ...tea tea to me and it is utterly redudant)

So my mom was like "Do you want friends over for christmas?" and I broke into tears. I can't even think about it without breaking into tears. Also I got three hours of sleep and it shows.
quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (Did someone say shotgun?)

Man, the internet really does have everything. Translations can be located in the previous post. Maybe I can find the rest of the Vedic chants I learned in school...

quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (If you glanced my way)


Prabhujee Dayaa Karo
Maname Aana Baso. [I used to sing this line as "Mann-uh-me aane baso" but it's been a while]

Tuma Bina Laage Soonaa [sob I thought it was Jaage. MY MEMORY FAILS ME?]
Khaali Ghatame Prema Bharo.

Tantra Mantra Poojaa Nahi Jaanu
Mai To Kevala Tumako Hi Maanu.

Sare Jaga Me Dhundaa Tumako
Aba To Aakara Baahan Dharo.

English Translation

Oh, Master, show some compassion on me
Please come and dwell in my heart.

Because without you, it is painfully lonely
Fill this empty pot with the nectar of love.

I do not know any Tantra, Mantra, or ritualistic worship
I know and believe only in you!

I have been searching for you all over the world
please come and hold my hand now.

Translations were found here. It's not inaccurate, though some parts struck me as odd ["Khaali Ghatame" suggests more of an empty place within ourselves, but I guess in English it sounds better?] . There's also another verse between "prem baro" and "tantra" which is kinda like a chorus verse of "Oh Prabhuji~ Prabhujiiiiiii".

Maybe I'll find a vocal version of it later.
quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (Did someone say shotgun?)
Discussing how to explain sex and badtouch to little kids certainly made my lecture an interesting one today.

"Surprise maturity!"

"Stranger is danger~"

"Kumbaya vagina~"

Yes guys. These are actual quotes from my classmates.

Though, honestly, if my kids keep calling the restroom the T-Rex, I feel there's nothing wrong with our standards of maturity.


quixotic: Fandom | Ava's Demon (Default)
The Windmill Lover

May 2015

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