Chasing those wayward dreams

My dad is out of town which means everything in my house has become awkward. My mother spends as little time as she can with us, going to gym or her room. My brother and I do the same and the house has a silence over it that depresses me. It works both ways. When my dad isn't around, there's a relaxed air, no stress to cater to his perfectionist needs. But our dad truly is the social person in the family and despite my own introvertedness, I am easily more comfortable with my dad than I am with anyone else, save a few people I know personally. After all, my dad is the guy who knows I RP. If I tell him I'm surfing porn on the internet, he doesn't blink. In fact, we might even have discussions about it, discussions that do not make me feel awkward, even if they do not fit the social "family protocol".

Not having my dad around is making me more unstable than I usually am. Oh, I still keep up my general zen attitude, but little things are starting to prickle and upset me. I guess the coupling of meds, niggling RP concerns that poke me in the back of my mind and the constant lack of silence in the household when I wake up is getting to me. And my therapy appointments are next week. My mom wants to take me to a movie this weekend, but I wonder if she's doing it because my dad told her to. I love my mom and I know she cares in her own way, but we're two very different people and sometimes when I try to meet her half-way, that lack of understanding we have just forces the awkwardness even more.

Really, I'm just counting down the days until I can finally meet Abel and we can hang out in sloth and gluttony.