![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Nov. 26th, 2009 10:25 amToday is the day I will do things away from the computer!! And the internet!!
Well, hopefully. I didn't start the day off too well with a headache and minor queasy feelings to the stomach. Took my stimulants for the third time to see how that works out. No reply from Kino or that other place I applied for work. I was out for two hours in the sun doing errands for my mom and realized her direction sense was worse than mine. It was not a fun time and I was pretty close to crying from frustration but hey I DIDN'T and I was kinda proud of myself for that!! Small victories baby.
On the RP front, god, I feel so happy. Every little thing about being Kirk makes me happy. All my characters make me happy!! I don't have a single bad thing to say!! Me, on the other hand. I'm worried about being all over the place and being overly obnoxious. Which, I know, I have a tendency to do! And sometimes, when people say I'm popular in public, I feel so... ashamed /o\ like I'm attention-calling to myself and god, if I was the other person, I could totally imagine rage and jealousy. I play because... I like to play. I play a lot because... I can and it's easy for me. I know that... not everyone can be as fast and manageable about it, but I've never seen that as a bad point with players either. I know people sometimes tell me "sorry I'm slooooow" and I'm like "THAT'S COOL" because it is! I just... I appreciate what every individual can do. Sometimes, I wonder if I would be a better player if I was slow but I don't think my patience could handle it.
Still dunno how I feel about micro. I play the same characters there that I do in CFUD and Micro is always an on and off feeling for me. Sometimes, I love it there! Sometimes, I'm like "This is supremely boring." I really just want to get Thom. I could easily drop everyone for Thom. It's sad but true. I wouldn't though. I do love my CR a great deal. ... Wow I'm using the acronym CR. I'm really a weird kid now.
Randomly. I love people. I really do. I'm making a bigger effort to know people via gchat and various means, talking to them whenever I can and I feel like I'm really broadening myself and it's my little slice of pride during these times of zero success.
PS - Someone tell me who to app next round at CFUD. I'm waffling.
Well, hopefully. I didn't start the day off too well with a headache and minor queasy feelings to the stomach. Took my stimulants for the third time to see how that works out. No reply from Kino or that other place I applied for work. I was out for two hours in the sun doing errands for my mom and realized her direction sense was worse than mine. It was not a fun time and I was pretty close to crying from frustration but hey I DIDN'T and I was kinda proud of myself for that!! Small victories baby.
On the RP front, god, I feel so happy. Every little thing about being Kirk makes me happy. All my characters make me happy!! I don't have a single bad thing to say!! Me, on the other hand. I'm worried about being all over the place and being overly obnoxious. Which, I know, I have a tendency to do! And sometimes, when people say I'm popular in public, I feel so... ashamed /o\ like I'm attention-calling to myself and god, if I was the other person, I could totally imagine rage and jealousy. I play because... I like to play. I play a lot because... I can and it's easy for me. I know that... not everyone can be as fast and manageable about it, but I've never seen that as a bad point with players either. I know people sometimes tell me "sorry I'm slooooow" and I'm like "THAT'S COOL" because it is! I just... I appreciate what every individual can do. Sometimes, I wonder if I would be a better player if I was slow but I don't think my patience could handle it.
Still dunno how I feel about micro. I play the same characters there that I do in CFUD and Micro is always an on and off feeling for me. Sometimes, I love it there! Sometimes, I'm like "This is supremely boring." I really just want to get Thom. I could easily drop everyone for Thom. It's sad but true. I wouldn't though. I do love my CR a great deal. ... Wow I'm using the acronym CR. I'm really a weird kid now.
Randomly. I love people. I really do. I'm making a bigger effort to know people via gchat and various means, talking to them whenever I can and I feel like I'm really broadening myself and it's my little slice of pride during these times of zero success.
PS - Someone tell me who to app next round at CFUD. I'm waffling.
