A joke

Jul. 24th, 2017 07:01 pm
soc_puppet: [Homestuck] God tier "Mind" themed Dreamsheep (Sheep of Mind)
[personal profile] soc_puppet
Brain: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Brain: Executive dysfunction
Me:...
Brain:...
Me:...
Brain: ...Well?
Me: What?
Brain: Aren't you going to say "Executive dysfunction who?"
Me: Sorry, I got distracted.


The joke is that it's supposed to be funny.
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Thor: Ragnarok     HD720p 94MB   HD1080p 171MB
Comic-Con trailer for this psychedelic, Australian-Kiwi action comedy. This time Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is imprisoned on the other side of the universe without his mighty hammer and finds himself in a race against time to get back to Asgard to stop Ragnarok - the destruction of his homeworld and the end of Asgardian civilization - the hands of an all-powerful new threat, the ruthless Hela (Cate Blanchett). But first he must survive a deadly gladiatorial contest that pits him against his former ally and fellow Avenger - the Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo)! Many of the cast members return, additions are Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie, Karl Urban as Skurge and Jeff Goldblum as Grandmaster. Directed by Taika Waititi (Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Boy, What We Do in the Shadows).
Pleased to spot that Waititi cast Rachel House from his previous movie.

Justice League     HD720p 161MB   HD1080p 294MB
Four minute Comic-Con trailer for DC Comics' desperate attempt to catch-up with Marvel's Avengers, directed by Zack Snyder (Man of Steel, 300, Sucker Punch). Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) enlists the help of his newfound ally, Diana Prince (Gal Gadot), to face an even greater enemy. Together, the two work quickly to find and recruit a team of metahumans to stand against this newly awakened threat. But despite the formation of this unprecedented league of heroes - Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman (Jason Momoa), Cyborg (Ray Fisher) and The Flash (Ezra Miller) - it may already be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.
J.K. Simmons, Amy Adams, Connie Nielsen, Jeremy Irons, Diane Lane, Amber Heard, Joe Morton, Billy Crudup, Ciarán Hinds, Kiersey Clemons, Willem Dafoe, Jesse Eisenberg and Henry Cavill are listed as cast member, if the running time permits.

Wonderstruck     HD720p 16MB
First (almost) music-only trailer for the latest movie directed by Todd Haynes (Far from Heaven, Carol, Velvet Goldmine), based on the novel from Brian Selznick (Hugo). Ben and Rose are children from two different eras who secretly wish their lives were different. Ben longs for the father he has never known, while Rose dreams of a mysterious actress (Julianne Moore) whose life she chronicles in a scrapbook. When Ben discovers a puzzling clue in his home and Rose reads an enticing headline in the newspaper, both children set out on quests to find what they are missing that unfold with mesmerizing symmetry. Michelle Williams has a small role.
Was not as well received at Cannes as Haynes' previous movies.

Proud Mary     HD720p 75MB
Action movie about a hit woman (Taraji P. Henson) working for an organized crime family in Boston, whose life is completely turned around when she meets a young boy whose path she crosses when a professional hit goes bad. Billy Brown, Danny Glover, Neal McDonough and Xander Berkeley are also part of the cast. Directed by Babak Najafi (London Has Fallen, Easy Money II).
It's starting to get crowded in the cool hitman genre.

Goon: Last of the Enforcer     HD720p 79MB
Trailer from Canada for the sequel. It's a new day for the Halifax Highlanders. A pro lockout has reunited old teammates and brought a crew of new players to the bench; notably missing from the line-up, however, is everyone’s favourite enforcer and heart of the team, Doug “The Thug” Glatt (Sean William Scott). Sidelined after one too many hits and now married with a baby on the way, he's hanging up his skates and settling into life as an insurance salesman. But when his nemesis Anders Cain (Wyatt Russell) is made captain of the Highlanders and new ownership threatens to tear his team apart, Doug is compelled back into action. Jay Baruchel, Elisha Cuthbert, Alison Pill, Marc-André Grondin, Kim Coates, Callum Keith Rennie, T.J. Miller and Liev Schreiber are also part of the cast. Baruchel also directs.
Reviews from Canada aren't too kind. It's apparently also even more brutal than the first one.
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The Shape Of Water     HD720p 97MB   HD1080p 174MB
An other-worldly fairy tale, set against the backdrop of Cold War era America circa 1963, directed by Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Pacific Rim, Hellboy). In the hidden high-security government laboratory where she works, lonely Elisa (Sally Hawkins) is trapped in a life of silence and isolation. Her life is changed forever when she and co-worker Zelda (Octavia Spencer) discover a secret classified experiment. Doug Jones, Michael Shannon, Michael Stuhlbarg and Richard Jenkins are also part of the cast.

The Snowman     HD720p 93MB
Tense thriller directed by Tomas Alfredson (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Let the Right One In), based on a novel by Jo Nesbø. When an elite crime squad's lead detective (Michael Fassbender) investigates the disappearance of a victim on the first snow of winter, he fears an elusive serial killer may be active again. With the help of a brilliant recruit (Rebecca Ferguson), the cop must connect decades-old cold cases to the brutal new one if he hopes to outwit this unthinkable evil before the next snowfall. Charlotte Gainsbourg, Val Kilmer, Sofia Helin, David Dencik and J.K. Simmons are also part of the cast.
Tense is fine, I only often wish such movies were less gruesome.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women     HD720p 84MB
Biographical drama described as a a superhero origin tale unlike any other. It tells the story of what inspired Harvard psychologist Dr. William Moulton Marston (Luke Evans) to create the iconic Wonder Woman character in the 1940's. While Marston's feminist superhero was criticized by censors for her 'sexual perversity', he was keeping a secret that could have destroyed him.His muses for the Wonder Woman character were his wife Elizabeth Marston (Rebecca Hall) and their lover Olive Byrne (Bella Heathcote), two empowered women who defied convention: working with Marston on human behavior research - while building a hidden life with him that rivaled the greatest of superhero disguises. Connie Britton is also part of the cast. Written and directed by Angela Robinson (D.E.B.S.).
First thought this is a cheap attempt to piggy-back on the Wonder Woman movie. But this is an interesting story.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle     HD720p 69MB   HD1080p 129MB
Full trailer for the sequel, again directed by Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass, X-Men: First Class, Layer Cake). This time our heroes face a new challenge. When their headquarters are destroyed and the world is held hostage, their journey leads them to the discovery of an allied spy organization in the US called Statesman, dating back to the day they were both founded. In a new adventure that tests their agents' strength and wits to the limit, these two elite secret organizations band together to defeat a ruthless common enemy, in order to save the world, something that's becoming a bit of a habit for Eggsy (Taron Egerton). Colin Firth, Mark Strong and Sophie Cookson also return. Cast additions are Julianne Moore, Halle Berry, Channing Tatum, Jeff Bridges, Pedro Pascal and Sir Elton John.

Only The Brave     HD720p 90MB
Drama based on the elite crew of firemen (Josh Brolin, Miles Teller, Jeff Bridges, James Badge Dale, Taylor Kitsch) called the Granite Mountain Hotshots from Prescott, Arizona who battled a wildfire in Arizona in June 2013 that claimed the lives of 19 of their members. As most of us run from danger, they run toward it. Jennifer Connelly and Andie MacDowell are also part of the cast. Directed by Joseph Kosinski (Oblivion, TRON: Legacy).
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A Wrinkle In Time     HD720p 69MB   HD1080p 127MB
First trailer for this epic adventure based on Madeleine L’Engle's classic which takes audiences across dimensions of time and space, examining the nature of darkness versus light and ultimately, the triumph of love. After the disappearance of her scientist father (Chris Pine), three peculiar beings (Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, Mindy Kaling) send Meg, her brother, and her friend to space in order to find him. Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Michael Peña, André Holland and Zach Galifianakis are also part of the cast. Directed by Ava DuVernay (Selma, The 13th, Middle of Nowhere). To be in theatres next spring.
I suspect you have to be familiar with the book to be able to appreciate the trailer.

Blade Runner 2049     HD720p 89MB   HD1080p 166MB
Second full trailer for the sequel that takes places thirty years after the events of the first film. A new blade runner, LAPD Officer K (Ryan Gosling), unearths a long-buried secret that has the potential to plunge what's left of society into chaos. K's discovery leads him on a quest to find Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), a former LAPD blade runner who has been missing for 30 years. Very diverse cast includes Ana de Armas, Sylvia Hoeks, Robin Wright, Mackenzie Davis, Carla Juri, Lennie James, Barkhad Abdi, Hiam Abbass, Dave Bautista and Jared Leto. Directed by Denis Villeneuve (Arrival, Sicario, Incendies).
The visuals are still tempting. But, I hesitate to mention it, I have problems with Gosling and Leto here.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi     HD720p 117MB   HD1080p 197MB
Three minute behind the scenes featurette for the eighth episode, written and directed by Rian Johnson (Looper, Brick, Brothers Bloom), to be in theatres at Christmas. There isn't much yet in terms of official summary other than Rey continues her epic journey with Finn, Poe and Luke Skywalker. Many actors from the last few decades return, new additions are Laura Dern, Benicio Del Toro and Kelly Marie Tran. Last time it was Daniel Craig, this time imdb lists Tom Hardy as a possible stormtrooper.
As much as I enjoy seeing the footage, the actors and the characters, the promotional lines they are forces to say are so off-putting. Wish there was a version without that.

Women Who Kill     HD720p 73MB
Dry comedic drama in which commitment phobic Morgan and her ex-girlfriend Jean, hosts of a female serial killer-centric podcast, still show all the signs of being a couple. But everything changes when Morgan falls hard and fast for the mysterious Simone (Sheila Vand), who may or may not be a killer.
Looks entertaining.

The Layover     HD720p 93MB
Lowbrow comedy about two single female best friends (Alexandra Daddario, Kate Upton) who find themselves competing for the same guy (Matt Barr) during an extended layover in St. Louis when their plane is rerouted due to a hurricane warning. Matt Jones, Rob Corddry, Kal Penn and Molly Shannon are also part of the cast. Directed by William H. Macy (Rudderless).
Not sure what compelled Macy to direct this. Besides the obvious.
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Darkest Hour     HD720p 91MB
Historical drama that begins on the eve of World War II as, within days of becoming Prime Minister of Great Britain, Winston Churchill (Gary Oldman) must face one of his most turbulent and defining trials: exploring a negotiated peace treaty with Nazi Germany, or standing firm to fight for the ideals, liberty and freedom of a nation. As the unstoppable Nazi forces roll across Western Europe and the threat of invasion is imminent, and with an unprepared public, a skeptical King, and his own party plotting against him, Churchill must withstand his darkest hour, rally a nation, and attempt to change the course of world history. Kristin Scott Thomas, Lily James, Stephen Dillane and Ben Mendelsohn are also part of the cast. Directed by Joe Wright (Atonement, Pride & Prejudice, Hanna).
Bring on the awards! IMDb's trivia page often has become full of inane facts, but in this case I'm amused to learn that Oldman is the fifth 'Harry Potter' actor to portray Churchill after Michael Gambon, Timothy Spall, Brendan Gleeson and Robert Hardy.

Final Portrait     HD720p 15MB
UK trailer for this biographical drama with comedic elements set in Paris in 1964 that peers into the workshop and personality of Swiss painter and sculptor Alberto Giacometti. Giacometti (Geoffrey Rush) is the one who decides when it is time for work, drink, doubt, destruction, flirtation or laughter in his studio. An established artist whose works fetch record prices, he hides his earnings in his studio. This is just one of the causes of many an argument with his wife (Sylvie Testud), another being the fact that his mistress (Clémence Poésy) receives all his attention. His brother (Tony Shalhoub), also an artist, is all too familiar with his idiosyncrasies. One day, Giacometti asks American art critic and biographer James Lord (Armie Hammer) to pose for him. But their sittings, scheduled to take a week, are frequently interrupted by visits to the bistro or long car rides, with no end in sight. Written and directed by Stanley Tucci (Big Night, Blind Date, The Impostors).
I suspect the first half of the trailer overstates the funny bits, but this looks much more interesting and entertaining than most biopics. It helps that it takes place over the course of about two weeks.

Dave Made a Maze     HD720p 77MB
Indie comedy in which an artist who has yet to complete anything significant in his career, builds a cardboard box fort in his living room out of pure frustration, only to wind up trapped by the fantastical pitfalls, booby traps, and critters of his own creation. Ignoring his warnings, his girlfriend leads a band of oddball explorers on a rescue mission. Once inside, they find themselves trapped in an ever-changing supernatural world, threatened by booby traps and pursued by a bloodthirsty Minotaur.
This looks like a lot of fun and highly inventive.

Borg vs. McEnroe     HD720p 24MB
European trailer for this sports drama set in 1980 in London. The rainiest summer in decades. The world is waiting to see the number one tennis player in the world, Björn Borg (Sverrir Gudnason), claim his fifth Wimbledon title. But few know of the drama behind the scenes: at only 24, Borg is close to the end - run-down, worn out and ridden with anxiety. Meanwhile, the challenger John McEnroe (Shia LaBeouf), 20, has decided to replace his former hero on the Wimbledon throne. Stellan Skarsgård, Tuva Novotny and David Bamber are also part of the cast.
Looks more interesting than I would've assumed. Though it is worth mentioning that both lead actors are more than a decade older than the characters they are portraying.

Footnotes - Sur quel pied danser     HD720p 67MB
If you want your musical a little less Hollywood glamorous and more working-class socialist, but still whimsical and not too realistic: It's about Julie (Pauline Etienne), a young woman struggling to make ends meet. Living out of a backpack, she spends her days jumping from job to job until she's finally offered a temporary job at a women's luxury shoe factory. After making friends with the spunky receptionist and a charming truck driver, Julie thinks the hard times are behind her. But her dreams of stability collapse when management threatens to close the factory. As her group of female colleagues go on strike, the truck drivers side with the company's scheming CEO. Julie must choose whether to keep a low profile (and a shot at permanent employment) or to fight back on the picket line.
Now in limited release in the US.

(no subject)

Jul. 13th, 2017 06:50 pm
soc_puppet: [Homestuck] God tier "Doom" themed Dreamsheep (Sheep of Doom)
[personal profile] soc_puppet
Everyone else: Refrigerator

Me: Human puzzle feeder






(It's extra super puzzle-y, because sometimes we have to put the food together ourselves. Enrichment!)

I have no idea how to feel about this

Jul. 11th, 2017 10:57 pm
soc_puppet: [Homestuck] God tier "Space" themed Dreamsheep (Sheep of Space)
[personal profile] soc_puppet
It just occurred to me that, if a separate Socchan had been born on the day I first started actively doing fandom things on the internet...

...She/ey would be within one or two years of being (legally) old enough to read/view everything I've contributed.

Edit: Okay, I think I've settled on "amused" for now. With a side of "bemused". A B-side of A-mused, if you will.