(no subject)

I think everyone is deserving, in some form or another. To put it in better terms, I truly believe that everyone has something that makes them special or unique and them and that's how it is. Truly. Sometimes, it's hard to believe and more than enough times, it's easier to see the bad rather the good, the special because really the bad parts are the ones that stand out. And we all have a place, somewhere.

Last friday, in a place I worked for nearly a year, I wasn't allowed to take part in the staff photo. There is nothing of me, no photo, no notice, just simply I come to work and I leave. And that was upsetting to me, I manage to rein it in. I'm still not sure how upset I am because I just feel... vaguely empty, like I missed out on a lottery, but that's okay, I never win those anyway.

I feel like I have a right to be depressed, like I have a right to cry and sob and say, "This is unfair". But I can't or I won't. All I can think of if this is truly the place for me. I love my job. It calms me, in ways I never possibly imagined. And yet, that feeling of being utterly forgotten, of wasting my life in a place that doesn't even want to realize I'm there...

... Hmm. It took typing this out to reduce me to tears. Perhaps that's all I needed to say.