(no subject)

[quixotic]

For once, I'd like my father to do something and not hold it over my head like a noose.

"I will do this for you because I am so kind and you are a loser and fucked up this and that." He does it for my birthdays. He does it for my Christmases. He does it for my education. I won't deny that I do owe him and I do need to pay him back for it, but I am trying. I do not understand why he has to guilt me for the rest of my life for it. And then he wonders why I never ask for anything and turns it against me.

I'm angry. I knew this. I knew I had to pay him back. I knew that doing that, I will probably never get a chance to travel for ...two years, probably. I don't want to be here that long. This place is going to drive me mad.

EDIT - A SOFTER WORLD FEELS FOR ME TODAY.

Comments

[comfortingsounds]

I didn't mean I would stay up! But I think you know that, huh. Yeah, I'm going to bed soon.

You're one of the most amazing and lovely person in the whole world, darling. You're not allowed to forget that, ever. I'm completely sure you'll get through this.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[quixotic]

GOOD.

Thank you ♥♥♥♥♥♥

[comfortingsounds]

And one day I will find a way to go over there, too. It'd be like a LET'S GO TOUCH DEAN mission or something. It might be impossible for a few years, but I can wait. It's one of those things I must do no matter what before I die.

I'm going to bed now. Feel better, ilu.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥